Second Guessing

I have plenty of bad habits. I routinely drive my car without getting the oil changed on time, oops. I will put off going to the post office as long as I can come up with something even remotely resembling an excuse (my hair isn’t fixed, I need a drink of water, I just saw a cloud which means a torrential downpour is probably on the horizon, hmm I wonder if I could count all of these blind slats in an hour. I’ve got more…)
One of my most complicated bad habits, because if we’re being honest, bad habits can get complicated, is second guessing myself. I used to do this constantly, second guessing settings, second guessing edits, second guessing life and business decisions. The complicated aspect of this bad habit is that sometimes, it’s such a good thing to reevaluate, invaluable even. Sometimes it’s the pause that saves you from making a horrendous mistake. Other times? Not so much.

I think learning to discern the difference between hesitation based on fear verses hesitation based on what we’ll just go ahead and call wisdom is a huge mark of maturity not just in professional conduct but in life. Does anyone do it perfectly? I have no idea. I’d like to shake their hand if they exist. Or maybe they’re more into high-fives. Knuckle-bumps? See? Here we go.

I can think of several times both personally and professionally where second guessing myself ended up generating a lot of fear and self-doubt that held me back. It still requires work for me to keep sight of what I think is lovely rather than checking to see if my choices meet someone else’s standard. The passion I find when I just dive head first into what I believe to be beautiful is the best reminder of what I should be pursuing in my art. That and seeing fellow artists, people and believers pursue the lovely things in life that resonate with them.

Here’s to having the humility to take a step back and check yourself when you should, and to riding the wheels off of things when you know you’re pointed in the right direction.



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